Marriage Plus

Silly, silly Japan.

For a country deeply rooted in tradition, hard work, and honor, Japan happens to outdo every other country on the planet with its sheer insanity. For instance, their exports range from "normal" to goddamned strange. Sure, we get awesome things like Godzilla, Nintendo, and Toyotas, but on the other hand we also get tentacle-rape hentai, Hard Gay, and "Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo". People in Japan are known for being reserved, courteous, conservative, and somewhat xenophobic, but that doesn't stop them from doing really crazy shit. Otaku (geeks) are pretty much the worst offender, discarding social norms with their obsessions ranging from anime and manga, video games, plastic models, and even guns.

Marriage is a sacred institution that bonds two people in a vow of love. Traditionally, the bond is shared between a man and a woman, although in some areas, people who share the same gender are able to marry. Nontheless, some believe it should remain between a man and a woman, fearing the institution will become perverted and thus opening the floodgates of other marriages, such as marriages between animals, children, and inanimate objects.

Well, that last one...actually came true.

On November 22, 2009, a Japanese man known as "Sal9000" married his Nintendo DS. Yes, you've read that correctly: Dude married a video game.

The video game in question is "Love Plus", a dating simulator for the DS by Konami. The game is played in the first-person, as you are a young man looking for a girlfriend. There are three different girls to court and ask out and you'll eventually end up with one of them. The game is well-known for being a hit in Japan, and for creating several controversies, including players obsessing of the game's characters and buying them actual gifts as well as resulting in many jealous girlfriends and a divorce.

Back to the topic, Sal9000 decided to make an honest woman out of "Nene Anegasaki", one of the three girls in "Love Plus". The ceremony wasn't held in Japan, since marriage laws don't apply to virtual women, and was instead held at a church in Guam. What's also sad is that the ceremony had invited guests consisting of friends and family, and even Nene's "friend" (another "Love Plus" girl inside the game) offering words to the happy "couple". What's even sadder is that the ceremony was streamed live on Nico Nico Douga (aka, Smile Video), a Japanese video site similar to YouTube.

Here is a summary of the video in question, courtesy of BoingBoing Video:



Myself, I wonder what will the honeymoon be like? A luxury suite for two at a Guam hotel and then some hot and steamy sex? If so, I wonder how Sal9000 is going to penetrate his DS? I mean, there are slots and ports, such as the charger port and the stylus slot, but I seriously doubt anyone can consummate with a DS, unless the man has some serious micropenis. And will Nene reciprocate the love by digitized moaning?

Ok, I think I'm getting carried away here. Oh well. At least I'm not like all of these other otaku in Japan who are pressuring the Diet to pass legislation on allowing them to marry 2D characters. Speaking of...I bet a lot of otaku are going to be super pissed due to the fact that a good third of "Love Plus" players are "dating" Nene, only to learn that she is now a taken woman.

Well, may God help Sal9000 should his game save ever should happen to erase.




Sources:
http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/11/19/otaku-marries-nintendo-ds-nene-is-my-wife/
http://videogames.yahoo.com/events/plugged-in/man-marries-a-videogame/1376577
http://gamerlimit.com/2009/11/man-marries-his-ds-in-guam/
http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-10404956-71.html


Video: BoingBoing Video and Nico Nico Douga.
LOVE PLUS © KONAMI CORPORATION.

The Madman Diaries III

I was out shopping one day, and I thought of something quite peculiar...

Sale for hand sanitizer, with two bottles being sold for the price of one. I normally buy hand sanitizer, and having run out of the stuff a few days ago, I decided to buy the two bottles. As I left the store, I remembered that the hand sanitizer was on a sales display. I never thought there would be an abundance of sanitizer, just waiting for people to score as the hottest item at the store. Why is hand sanitizer so popular nowadays?

Oh, wait.

H1N1.

I'm so slow.

Ever since the H1N1 flu scare earlier this year, people have been washing their hands more often and buying bottles and wipes of hand sanitizer. In addition, my school has various hand sanitizer depots scattered around the halls. One can battle the Pig AIDS by either keeping themselves sanitary by washing and sanitizing their hands often, or take the vaccine. Myself, I don't trust that vaccine. A buddy of mine got ill after taking said vaccine. Hell, conspiracy theorists believe the government is using the vaccine as a front to implant tracker chips into folks intravenously.

Well, I believe that is bull.

I mean, that sounds quite ridiculous.

However, what's NOT ridiculous is that the H1N1 flu is concocted by none other than THE HAND SANITIZER INDUSTRY! Before H1N1, not many people bought hand sanitizer. Core customers were just germophobes and people going on trips to places that may not have clean running water. After a field agent for the industry went to Mexico and unleashed the man-made strain onto the world in 2009, people were getting sick and even more people were getting paranoid. This drove hand sanitizer sales up. Thousands of people are now dead because of an industry that no one gave a damn about as early as last year decided to earn profits for their shareholders.

Big Brother isn't the threat; it's Purell®.

C'est la vie,



PS: Disregard all of that, I suck cocks.

MOVIE REVIEW: "This Is It"

MOVIE REVIEW:

"Michael Jackson's This Is It" (2009)

Rated PG. 111 mins. Colour. USA. Limited time engagement, but at time of review posted it is still in most theaters. Will end its run the following Wednesday. (Nov. 10)

WARNING: May contain spoilers..........aw hell, I'm not gonna lie to you. It DOES contain spoilers.

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CREDITS:

Director: Kenny Ortega

Starring: Michael Jackson (R.I.P.), Kenny Ortega, Orianthi Panagaris, and many others.

Producers: Paul Gongaware and Randy Phillips

Cinematography: Kevin Mazur

Studio: AEG Live and The Michael Jackson Company, LLC.

Distribution: Columbia Pictures

(Info from Wikipedia.org)

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Well, this review is going to be different than my other ones. For one thing, this film doesn't suck. Second, the film is more of a documentary. It can also be viewed as a concert as well, with all of the rehearsal footage. And finally, despite being a fan of MJ, I'll try to not make the review seem biased. No promises, though.

The film is staged mostly at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California, where MJ was rehearsing for his "This Is It" tour, a set of 50 consecutive concerts at London's O2 arena. Sadly, MJ died before he could perform, just 18 days shy of the first performance date. Given this information, this film chronicles MJ's final days alive.

The content of the film is mostly rehearsal footage, and while it sounds unimpressive in words, what I have seen was pretty amazing. Jackson, who was 50 years old at the time of filming and had an emaciated appearance, actually still had the magic. During sets, he would dance along with the backup dancers, who were all 20-somethings, and he STILL busts harder moves. To be honest, I thought his age and health would hinder his abilities, but I was proven wrong. He truly was, is, and forever will be the King of Pop.

Fun fact: Jackson's personal trainer at the time was Lou Ferrigno. Yes, the Incredible Hulk whipped MJ into epic-dancing shape. And I applauded Ferrigno for that. Go Lou.

But yeah, aside from the sessions (MJ was a strict yet compassionate perfectionist), the audiovisual stuff was awe-inspiring. MJ's vocals and moves, the backup musicians and dancers, the CGI in the background...all impressive. Everyone worked really hard. And these scenes are all REHEARSALS. Imagine if MJ was still alive to perform the concerts...it would've been amazing. I now understand why people paid through the nose for concert tickets when he announced his "This Is It" tour.

I did enjoy the song in the end, entitled "This Is It". Although, I've heard that it was possibly a mix from an older, unreleased song, and that it didn't contain the "touch". Still, it was a fitting end to the film.

I know this review isn't traditional, but keep in mind that neither is the film. It's more of an experience for a Michael Jackson fan, if anything. I just hope it comes out on DVD in the near future. To hell with the compilation album, though. I don't feel like paying Sony more money just for another compilation with ONE new song in it ("This Is It"). I can just score the MP3 online instead. The companion book looked neat, however, since there's stills from the film in it. But, if anything, this film is the best bet, as well as the most affordable, compared to a $15 book and a $17 compilation CD (or $70 for the "collector's edition"!).

Also, Orianthi Panagaris is an extremely talented guitarist. Just sayin'.

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FINAL SCORE: A- (It was pretty impressive, overall. Although I can't help but feel bothered that this film was released a bit too soon, without MJ's final approval. Since he's deceased, though, the whole point is moot. Nevertheless, it's still something that MJ fans will love.)

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Well...that's all for my review. Thank you, good night, and take care of your eyesight.

Bless,