Silly, silly Japan.
For a country deeply rooted in tradition, hard work, and honor, Japan happens to outdo every other country on the planet with its sheer insanity. For instance, their exports range from "normal" to goddamned strange. Sure, we get awesome things like Godzilla, Nintendo, and Toyotas, but on the other hand we also get tentacle-rape hentai, Hard Gay, and "Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo". People in Japan are known for being reserved, courteous, conservative, and somewhat xenophobic, but that doesn't stop them from doing really crazy shit. Otaku (geeks) are pretty much the worst offender, discarding social norms with their obsessions ranging from anime and manga, video games, plastic models, and even guns.
Marriage is a sacred institution that bonds two people in a vow of love. Traditionally, the bond is shared between a man and a woman, although in some areas, people who share the same gender are able to marry. Nontheless, some believe it should remain between a man and a woman, fearing the institution will become perverted and thus opening the floodgates of other marriages, such as marriages between animals, children, and inanimate objects.
Well, that last one...actually came true.
On November 22, 2009, a Japanese man known as "Sal9000" married his Nintendo DS. Yes, you've read that correctly: Dude married a video game.
The video game in question is "Love Plus", a dating simulator for the DS by Konami. The game is played in the first-person, as you are a young man looking for a girlfriend. There are three different girls to court and ask out and you'll eventually end up with one of them. The game is well-known for being a hit in Japan, and for creating several controversies, including players obsessing of the game's characters and buying them actual gifts as well as resulting in many jealous girlfriends and a divorce.
Back to the topic, Sal9000 decided to make an honest woman out of "Nene Anegasaki", one of the three girls in "Love Plus". The ceremony wasn't held in Japan, since marriage laws don't apply to virtual women, and was instead held at a church in Guam. What's also sad is that the ceremony had invited guests consisting of friends and family, and even Nene's "friend" (another "Love Plus" girl inside the game) offering words to the happy "couple". What's even sadder is that the ceremony was streamed live on Nico Nico Douga (aka, Smile Video), a Japanese video site similar to YouTube.
Here is a summary of the video in question, courtesy of BoingBoing Video:
Myself, I wonder what will the honeymoon be like? A luxury suite for two at a Guam hotel and then some hot and steamy sex? If so, I wonder how Sal9000 is going to penetrate his DS? I mean, there are slots and ports, such as the charger port and the stylus slot, but I seriously doubt anyone can consummate with a DS, unless the man has some serious micropenis. And will Nene reciprocate the love by digitized moaning?
Ok, I think I'm getting carried away here. Oh well. At least I'm not like all of these other otaku in Japan who are pressuring the Diet to pass legislation on allowing them to marry 2D characters. Speaking of...I bet a lot of otaku are going to be super pissed due to the fact that a good third of "Love Plus" players are "dating" Nene, only to learn that she is now a taken woman.
Well, may God help Sal9000 should his game save ever should happen to erase.
Sources:
http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/11/19/otaku-marries-nintendo-ds-nene-is-my-wife/
http://videogames.yahoo.com/events/plugged-in/man-marries-a-videogame/1376577
http://gamerlimit.com/2009/11/man-marries-his-ds-in-guam/
http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-10404956-71.html
Video: BoingBoing Video and Nico Nico Douga.
LOVE PLUS © KONAMI CORPORATION.
