A political horror story by ray n.
Dedicated to J. Robbins.
0 - PROLOGUE
The year is 20XX in a land known as The United States of America. It used to be a land known for liberty, justice, and opportunity for the poor and the downtrodden. But lately, the USA is known to outsiders as a society of angry white men and other like-minded people. What was troubling about these turn of events was that all of this could have been prevented.
I - MONDAY MORNING, 7 AM
"Hello fellow patriotic Americans! I'm your host, Beck Streicher, and you are listening to 'The Streicher Manifesto', the highest rated syndicated talk-radio program in our great country! Today we have four hours of the best live morning talk program that your local AM radio affiliate can offer! Before we start, let's take some calls, shall we? Let's see, our first caller is 'Mike' from Muncie, Indiana. Mike, you're on the air."
"Hello?"
"Yes, is this Mike?"
"Yes."
"Hello Mike! This is Beck Streicher and you're on the air on 'The Streicher Manifesto'."
"Oh, hey Beck! I love your show and I think you're a great American!"
"You're a great American too, my friend. What brings you to the 'Manifesto'?"
"Well, Beck, I'd just like to say that I lost my job to a Mexican last Friday."
"Well, that's unfortunate. What happened, if I may ask? Oh, and also, keep in mind that you're live on the air, so please keep the language G-rated, if you may?"
"Sure. But yeah, I was an electrician, makin' a living like any other decent, hard-working American citizen, until suddenly this illegal alien shows up in uniform along with my boss and the boss tells me that I'm laid off just because this damn wetback gets paid a third less than I did. And you know I'm not the only one hurtin', Beck. Lots of us REAL Americans are losing American jobs to these undocumented parasites. They're eating up our tax dollars, abusing our health care and educational systems, as well as sending all of our money back to Mexico, where we damn well know that there's corrup--"
"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA...! You're getting carried away there--this is MY job, Mike. Ha ha. I thought I told you to watch your language. I know it's dumb, with the FCC over-regulating our 'supposed' freedom of speech, but we can't say the 'w-word' on the air."
"I'm sorry, Beck. Like you said, I kinda got carried away there. It's just that I think that we are losing America to all of the degenerates out there, and I'm now out of a job. I don't know how am I going to provide for my famil--"
"Ooooooh, I'm sorry Mike, but we're running out of time. However, you did raise an interesting point. Anyway, have a nice day and God Bless America. For those of you who are just tuning in, we're going to take a commercial break. I hope you stay tuned, because after the break, we will be discussing about health care reform and why the liberals want to instill 'death panels' and do away with Grandma. Don't go away--the 'Manifesto' will be back after a word from our sponsors!"
II - WAFFLE HOUSE, 10:55 AM
-sip-
"Frank?"
-sip- "Yea?"
"Quit sippin' that damn coffee. I'm trying to listen to the 'Manifesto'."
"Sorry, Jefferson." -sip-
"It's okay, Frank. There's only five minutes left before the 'Manifesto' ends, and I don't wanna miss Beck's daily end-of- show declaration. Oh, speak of the devil, he's back on!"
"...And we're back. Today, we have talked about the evils of taxes, death panels, Obamacare, and other liberal institutions such as public schools. I mean, our children aren't learning anything of importance from these dens of liberalism, and we all know that the youth of today don't have any respect for God nor our country. It saddens me, really. Instead of taking our children to the failing public school systems and teaching them about evolution, we should home-school our children and indoctrinate them with faith-based values. Before I make my declaration, let's have one last call, shall we? Let's see...'Jeremy' from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. You're on the air, Jeremy."
"Thank you, Beck."
"No, thank you. What's on your mind?"
"Quite a lot of things, actually."
"Well, can you keep it short? We have less than three minutes on the air, mind you."
"I understand. I shall keep my comments brief."
"Okay. Go ahead."
"Thank you. In short, I just want to ask you: What in the hell is wrong with you? As an educator, I am appalled by your comments on the public education system. I know that it's not perfect, but the federal government has a duty to give every American child a free and decent education. Would you deny the children the right to an education?"
"Jeremy, public schools are obviously filling our childrens' heads with socialist propaganda. And you're an educator? So you're actively participating in teaching our nation's children with your communist pap? It's obvious that today's U.S. History textbooks are rife with liberal bias--don't tell me you're a history teacher, now."
"I am not. I teach 6th grade mathematics. Anyway, your claim about public schools being 'dens of liberalism' is just absurd. It's true that our schools aren't 'faith-based'--they're not supposed to be. Haven't you heard of the 'separation of church and state'? Americans are composed of many faiths, and as such, we keep a secular atmosphere to educate everyone equally--if you want to give your child a specialized education, then there are alternatives like private schools and home-schooling, like you've mentioned. And another thing, taxes are necessary for any public institution to work. Roads, parks, bridges, dams, fire departments, police stations, and even schools. Without taxes, all of these institutions would cease to exist!"
"Are you smoking dope, Jeremy? That's what the Democrats want, legalization of everything. Don't you see? These schools don't cater to the strengths of each individual student and therefore treats every single one of these kids as 'equals'. Doesn't that remind you of communism? Are you a communist, Jeremy? I don't allow communists in my show. Also, secularism is one of the big reasons why our great country is struggling today. We are a nation of God. 'In God We Trust'. Get it? Good. Now, don't ever call back again, you un-American communist. All you decent, God-fearing listeners out there, if you know of a sixth grade teacher named Jeremy in Pennsylvania, be sure to educate him on what it means to be a REAL American."
-sip- "Wow. Heavy stuff."
"You tell 'im, Beck! And quit with that damn sippin', Frank! He's about to make a declaration."
"...And now, a DECLARATION! THE GOVERNMENT IS GETTING TOO BIG AND IS INFRINGING ON YOUR RIGHTS, PEOPLE! WE NEED TO TELL THEM THAT IF THEY'RE NOT GOING TO BACK OFF AND LEAVE US ALONE BY REASON, THEN WE MIGHT HAVE TO FIGHT BACK FOR OUR FREEDOMS! BUT, WHO TO TRUST AMONG A COUNTRY OF OVER 300 MILLION PEOPLE? TOMORROW'S SHOW, I HAVE CREATED ACRONYMS ON HOW TO HELP IDENTIFY BETWEEN HONEST PEOPLE AND DEGENERATES. UNTIL TOMORROW, THIS IS BECK STREICHER, SIGNING OFF ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER PAGE OF 'THE BECK STREICHER MANIFESTO'!!"
-sip-
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to be continued...
