i-Dose

Above is my i-Dose log, chronicling my experiences after i-Dosing earlier this afternoon.

You are probably asking yourself, "What's an i-Dose? And why is it relevant?" I-Dosing is the act of taking virtual "drugs", using binaural brainwave audio "doses" to give your brain the similar effects drugs have, without the high monetary and legal cost, negative side-effects and overdosing. All you need are some good headphones, a computer, and the i-Doser.

An example of an "i-Dose" can be found here. Put on some headphones and zone out for the intended effect.

I-Dosing is also the subject of moral panic newscasts in the nation as a "leading teen trend that will poison our youth". Even though i-Dosing is intended for people 18 and over, there are still retarded teenagers trying it out, similar with salvia and the subsequent legislation by family-values politicians and concerned mothers to ban the substance.



Naturally, I decided to experiment with an i-Doser and see if these e-drugs were legit. Unsurprisingly, as you can see from my log above, it's all baloney. At best, it'll give you a slight dizzy effect, but that's because the music is pretty trippy. Or, I could just be doing it wrong. I don't know. I still believe that i-Dosing produces the "placebo effect".

In conclusion, the only thing more stupid than i-Dosing is actually paying for i-Doses. If you want to try i-Dosing that badly, go knock yourself out. Just don't blame me if you get disappointed or, on the off-chance that it happens, addicted.

Regrettably yours,


PS: If anything, this song produces much more euphoria and happy feelings than any of that i-Dose garbage put together. Enjoy.

Dear Mel Gibson

Dear Mel Gibson,

You were a good actor.

I liked the Road Warrior.

But, you know what?

Fuck you.

I'm done.

Even though The Passion wasn't that great, I figured a film like that would have a divided base and decided to give you leniency over the direction of the film. Even though you ranted about the Jews several years back and I was uncomfortable with your actions, I decided to cut you some slack since you were drunk and it's common knowledge that people do and say stupid shit while intoxicated. But this...this is fucking horrible, even for someone with questionable values and mores such as myself. You are a mentally unstable asshole and you are beyond help. I'm done with you.

Sincerely,

Mr. N.

PS: I hope you get raped by a pack of Jews.

The Karate Kid (1984) vs. The Karate Kid (2010)

Last week, I went to the movie theater and saw two flicks: Pixar's "Toy Story 3" and the remake of "The Karate Kid". I'm not going to bother writing a review for "Toy Story 3", since it was actually awesome and I recommend everyone else to see it.

As for "The Karate Kid", it's basically a remake and nothing more. I'm not going to bother writing elaborate analyses here, since there's nothing really special about the film. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't the best film of the year; it was a decent film, and if you haven't see the original 1984 version or were a fan of it, you might actually enjoy the 2010 version.

However, similar the two movies can be, there are differences, with some obvious and some slight. Although the character roles are the same, they all have different names, appearances, personalities and M.Os. Here's a short character list, starting with "role-->original character/remake character":

Underdog hero ---> Daniel LaRusso/Dre Parker
Love interest ---> Ali Mills/Mei Ying
Hero's mother ---> Mrs. LaRusso/Mrs. Parker
Asian handyman---> Keisuke Miyagi/Mr. Han
Arrogant bully---> Johnny Lawrence/Cheng
Evil sensei ---> Sensei John Kreese/Master Li

Also, the main character is a young black boy rather than a high school guido, and he's facing off Chinese kids trained in the Fighting Dragons school of kung fu, rather than fighting blonde SoCal teens trained in the Cobra Kai dojo. What's unfortunate about this is that there are many scenes involving mean-spirited Chinese kids ganging up and beating the little black kid to death. I just can't get comfortable seeing that. Also, instead of the film being set in California, it's now set in Beijing, China. Various details are also changed or updated to fit this time period, such as music and technology. But, the biggest difference is also the biggest gripe: the martial arts. Whereas the original film is accurate in which the characters are practicing various forms of karate, the remake has the characters using different styles of kung fu. Yes, the locale is China and kung fu is commonplace there, but why is the movie still called "The KARATE Kid"? That misnomer bothers me. A lot. It should've been renamed "The Kung Fu Kid", or something similar.

Plot is pretty much the exact same: Single mother and kid move to some far-away place, kid meets girl, assholes treat kid like shit, said assholes beat up kid, old Asian handyman beats up assholes, handyman and kid visit assholes' dojo and the master is an even bigger asshole, they all decide to fight once and for all at a local tournament, kid and handyman train through unconventional methods via montage, kid finds handyman drunk while lamenting about his past, the two bond even closer, they finally enter the tournament, fighting montage leaves the kid and the lead asshole in the final showdown, the asshole cheats and breaks kid's leg as instructed by evil master, kid uses special technique and wins the tournament and the girl, movie ends. It's just now about a black kid in China learning kung fu. Only real difference.

For final review, I give the original a B- whereas I give the remake a C due to it being the same, but without the neat 80s music. Good night.



Background © BIRD STUDIO/Shueisha/Banpresto

You Know You Might Be a Weeaboo If...

You Know You Might Be a Weeaboo* If...

> ...You think dubbed anime is worse than Hitler.
> ...You want a Japanese waifu.
> ...You want a Japanese husbando.
> ...You believe that Japan is a magical land of whimsy where everything is just like anime.
> ...You believe that you are the reincarnated from a Japanese priestess or samurai.
> ...Your love of Japan is greater than right-wing Japanese nationalists.
> ...You listen to J-music exclusively but you don't understand the lyrics.
> ...You wish you went to a Japanese high school.
> ...You list "Japanese" as one of your spoken languages on your resume even though in reality you barely know the language and you butcher it every time you try to speak it.
> ...You import a box of Pocky straight from Japan for $6 over the Internet, rather than go to your local Wal-Mart and pick up a box for a dollar.
> ...You give your kids Japanese names even though you or your spouse aren't Japanese.
> ...You draw everything "anime" style.
> ...You and your friends eat at Panda Express, although they are a Chinese restaurant.
> ...You go to anime conventions.
> ...You buy untranslated manga, despite not knowing how to read it, just because it's in it's "pure" form.
> ...You pay more money for a Japanese beer at a bar.
> ...You sing anime theme songs at karaoke.
> ...You want a Japanese imouto (little sister) who calls you "onii-chan" (big brother).
> ...You'd give anything to live in Japan, even though you've never been there.
> ...You lurk and post on /a/.



*Weeaboo (n.) - Internet slang for someone (read: Westerner) who is obsessed with Japanese culture. Syn: Wapanese, Japanophile, Otaku.

FOOD REVIEW: Spicy Chick Fil A Sandwich

FIRST-EVER FOOD REVIEW: Spicy Chick Fil A Sandwich, $2.99 plus tax, Chick Fil A.

DISCLAIMER: This review is not endorsed by nor affiliated with Chick Fil A. All my opinions are belong to me.

I'm not going to be pretentious or verbose here. I'm going to write how I honestly feel about this product in my own words. If you want a detailed essay about how food tastes, then go read the newspaper. Thank you.

REVIEW: On Monday, June 7, Chick Fil A released their new spicy variant of their flagship sandwich, the Chick Fil A chicken sandwich, to the public. I decided to try it out of sheer curiosity, and because of earlier reviews that praised the sandwich (it was given out to select people the week before the sandwich publicly came out).

The packaging was similar to the original sandwich, and as I opened it up, the sandwich was nice and hot. Two buns, a spicy boneless chicken breast, lightly breaded and cooked in peanut oil, and two pickles probably won't sound impressive in writing, but damn, when put together and eaten, the result is delicious.

Upon first bite, a rush of spice has filled my mouth and I start coughing. It isn't a tongue burner, but it will leave a good burn inside you. The taste is actually genuine and reminds me of Texas Pete or Tabasco. What's even more amazing is that the chicken must've been marinated well, because the spice isn't limited to the crunchy outside, but is also found on the juicy white meat inside as well. The pickle just adds that slight 'ting' that completes the bite. In short, three words: SO. FUCKING. DELICIOUS.

PROS: The spice makes a great addition to an already great sandwich.
CONS: The spice may either be too spicy for some, or not spicy enough for others.

GRADE: A.

FINAL WORD: For three bucks, this is a good deal. It's basically the original sandwich, but with some added spice. Highly recommended.